Hellidays - When Bad Holidays Happen To Good People

The first Valentine's Day together with my "ex" he gave me the traditional card and chocolate heart box. Nice gesture, right? Since we have only been dating less than six months (and we were in college). Well, I opened the chocolate box only to discover they were moldy. Gross, but I had figured he must have bought a bad box.

After asking him about it (probably repeatedly), he must have felt guilty or something because he confessed that they were the chocolates he had gotten from his ex girlfriend, not one, but two Valentine's days ago! Seriously! Who regifts a box of chocolates from an ex two years later!?!? He really should have kept that one to himself. Needless to say I gave them right back to him. However, it did take me 5 more year... read more

One year, my soon-to-be husband gave me one of those classic heart-shaped boxes of candy. The ribbon around it was a little loose, but I didn't really think too much of it. So, I opened it, only to see two candies missing and one that was half-bitten among the choclatey array. He apparently couldn't wait. But, he was always like that. Which might be why we eventually got married!

Over Christmas in 1979, our little Scottish terrier “Rags” was sick.

She just wasn’t herself. Now back then, none of us knew that chocolate was bad for a dog. And I used to take her to Baskin Robbins with me and get her her own scoop in a cup.

Little did I know I was killing “Ragsie” with Chocolate Fudge Brownie.

So, on New Year’s Eve, my mother made her usual buffet. Wearing a housedress she set out candles, shrimp with cocktail sauce, a punch bowl with Vernor’s and vanilla ice cream (called a Boston cooler, but why? Vernor’s was made in Detroit. We lived in Detroit.) Chips and dip. Assorted cold cuts. Crackers. Bread. The “works.”

Then Rags started vomiting bile. After a couple of hours, she died — at two... read more

You know how you look back into your personal history and inevitably find cringe-inducing moments? Well, here's mine. I went to my best friend's house party on New Year's Eve and within short order met the brother of a friend. Within about three seconds, we were locking lips. And continued to do so in every room, in every chair, on every sofa. We must have made out for the better part of three hours in front of all the guests. Oddly, I don't even remember the kiss at midnight. I was probably bruised and bleeding by that point. The kicker is that I went on a date with the guy about a week later and was totally turned off by his junk-ridden sub-compact car filled with fast food cartons, dirty clothes, books, tools, you name it. Ugh. How coul... read more

My worst holiday experience occurred when I was 13 yrs old. My mom was never much into giving me presents. She saved those for my sis, the angel of her life. That summer I worked and put aside a little cash and ordered a skateboard. It never came. For the longest time I gave up on it, figuring I got ripped off. Christmas morning comes along and I was watching my sis rip open her bounty. Just another day, you know. It got down to the last present, which was tucked behind the tree. Lo and behold it was for me. Guess what it was! Yeah, my skateboard. Seems that it did come in the mail and my mum thought it would be great fun to give me a gift that I had bought for myself. The really bad part was that it wasn’t even put together and... read more