Hellidays - When Bad Holidays Happen To Good People

This story was told to me by a friend.

My friend had a classic upper-middle class American upbringing, complete with a large, stately home in an affluent suburb. A permanent fixture in the home was their dog, "bandit." Bandit was a mutt, and was older than most of the kids on the block, but beloved by all.

Thanksgiving was the largest holiday in this particular household. It was the day that all the aunts and uncles, cousins and respective significant others converged to engage in a feast only rivaled by that seen on "The Grinch."

The long Chippendale-esque dining table was fully set, and bulged with nearly 20 guests seated. Still, there was more than enough room for the lady of the house to glide around the table to serve one aunt a glass of Chardonnay, and a pre-teen nephew a larger helping of the marshmallow-maple-yam-somethingorother. There was also ample room for Bandit to make his presence known, paying a visit to each seat for what could only be described as a "tax" for eating on his turf.

The turkey was hoisted high in the air and placed before the dad, seated at the head of the table. And there was Bandit right at Dad's left side. He looked to the left, then walked a few steps, then looked to the right. Everyone knew Bandit's tricks for scoring goodies, and watched intently to see what he would do next. He then looped around in a circle, cocked his head to the sky and howled loudly—then dropped dead.

Bandit was "Daddy's Dog" and everyone was frozen with shock. Dad checked Bandit for any sign of life, but he was gone. In one motion, he snatched the turkey from the table and strode through the kitchen, out the back door and into the alley. He kicked the lid to a vacant trash can open and dropped the un-carved, picture-perfect turkey right in the bin.

In one final dramatic turn, and with Bandit still lying lifeless on the carpet, Dad sat down at the table, closed his eyes and said "would everyone please leave?! Thanksgiving is over."
Posted on 12/19/2009 at 04:54PM by Michael
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A dog dying usually takes the stuffing out of any holiday.
Posted on 12/20/2009 at 04:35PM by Lyn

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